 
  73 k |
RIMMER: Do you think its because the sub-space conduits have locked with the transponder calibrations causing a major tachion surge that has over loaded the time matrix?
KRYTEN: No sir, I've just been jabbing it too hard |
 64 k |
CAT: Sisiumfrankalithicmixiolabilliumrixydixydoxydexytroxide.
(if you think you can spell it better mail the webmaster) |
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160 k |
CAT: There is a wise old Cat saying which I think applies in this situation it goes... What are you talking about dog breath?
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44 k |
KRYTEN: I have as much interest in saving my own life as a chronically depressed lemming.
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 31 k |
LISTER: Drop dead Rimmer
RIMMER: Already have done
LISTER: Encore
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204 k |
RIMMER: If we board that ship and get captured were finished. However, if we board that ship don't get captured but the super-structure disintegrates around us were finished. On the other hand, if we board that ship don't get captured and the super-structure doesn't disintegrate arround us, but we can't find any fuel we are in fact finished
LISTER: Thats about the shape of it yeah
KRYTEN: After you with the balls sir
|
140 k |
KRYTEN: What on earth are we going to do?
CAT: I goddit! we laser our way through
KRYTEN: Ah! an excelent suggestion sir with only two minor draw-backs, one we don't have a power source for the lasers, and two we dont have any lasers
|
92 k |
RIMMER: Can you imagine a society composed entirely of me?
CAT: I'm trying not to, last time I did that it took me a week to dry the matress!
|
134 k |
LISTER: Rimmer, the escape pod is not an option.
RIMMER: Why not?.
LISTER: It escaped last thursday, I was having a few beers, I couldn't be bothered moving so I used the release mechanisim as a bottle opener.
|
55 k |
RIMMER: Step up to red alert!
KRYTEN: Are you absolutely sure sir it does mean changing the bulb.
|
72 k |
LISTER: Oh Smeg, What the smeg in smeg has he smegging done, he's smeggin' killed me! |
274 k |
This quote comes from the backwards universe |
 209 k |
HOLLY: Abandon ship, abandon ship, black hole approaching this is not a drill this is a drill SFX DRILL NOISE Abandon ship, oh god now the siren's bust Awooga Awooga abandon ship!
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123 k |
KRYTEN: They've taken Mr Rimmer, sir they've taken Mr Rimmer.CAT: Quick lets get out of here before they bring him back
|
123 k |
HOLLY: Right, I've been through the whole of my data bases collated every single option and there are three realistic alternatives:
One, sit here and get blown up.
Two, stand here and get blown up.
Three, jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up.
|
 234 k |
ACE: Tish pshaw nonsense, any old twit can hug the event horizon of a black hole then loop the loop round a spinning singularity at twice the speed of light then slam the engines into reverse and blast out of an imploding nebula.
|
58 k |
KRYTEN: Mr Rimmer would be effectively dead.
CAT: Hey, things are lookin' up already.
|
91 k |
CAT: All in all 100% sucessful trip!
KRYTEN: But sir, we lost Mr Rimmer.
CAT: All in all 100% sucessful trip!
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225 k |
LISTER: Why don't we scrape away this mortor here, slide one of these bricks out, then using rope weaved from stands of this hessian, rig up a kind of pulley system, so when a guard comes in we set up a trip wire so he gets laid out then we put Rimmer in the guards uniform, he leads us out we steal some swords and fight our way back to the bug...
KRYTEN: Or we could use the teleporter.
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411 k |
LISTER: Lister to Red Dwarf, we have in our midst a complete smegpot, brains in the anal reigon, chin absent presumed missing, genitalia small and inoffensive of no value or interest.
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86 k |
This is a sample of Bob the Skutter
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