This page contains the SOS messages as read by Holly at the begining of the shows in series 1 and 2.
This is an SOS distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak, the only survivors were Dave Lister who was in suspended animation during the disaster and his pregnant cat who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived 3 million years later, Lister's only companions are a life form who evolved from his cat and Arnold Rimmer a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.We have enough food to last 30,000 years but only one After Eight mint left and everyone's too polite to take it.
This is an SOS distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors were Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are a life form who evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.The most interesting event that happened recently was that lister pretended he passed the chef's exam, although really he failed. That gives you some idea of how truly exciting some days can be around here.
This is an SOS call from the mining ship, Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors are Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster and his pregnant Cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are; a life form who evolved from his Cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.We have been travelling through the galaxy now for three million years, and there are many things we've discovered. The highest form of life in the universe is Man, and the lowest is a man who works for the post office.
Three million years from Earth, the mining ship Red Dwarf. Its crew: Dave Lister, the last human being alive; Arnold Rimmer, a hologram of his dead bunkmate; and a creature who evolved from the ship's cat. Message ends.Additional: As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?
Three million years from Earth, the mining ship Red Dwarf. Its crew: Dave Lister, the last human being alive; Arnold Rimmer, a hologram of his dead bunkmate; and a creature who evolved from the ship's cat. Message ends.Additional: Loneliness weighs heavily on us all.Personally the only thing that keeps me going is the thought that we are over sixty billion miles away from the nearest Berni Inn.
Three million years from Earth, the mining ship Red Dwarf. Its crew: Dave Lister, the last human being alive; Arnold Rimmer, a hologram of his dead bunkmate; and a creature who evolved from the ship's cat. Message ends.Additional: supplies are plentiful. We have enough food and drink to last 30,000 years, although we have run out of Shake n' Vac.
Three million years from Earth, the mining ship Red Dwarf. Its crew: Dave Lister, the last human being alive; Arnold Rimmer, a hologram of his dead bunkmate; and a creature who evolved from the ship's cat. Message ends.Additional: On our journey back to Earth, we have encountered many strange and bizarre things. Only last month we came across a moon which was shaped exactly like Felicity Kendall's bottom. We flew around that one a couple of times.
Three million years from Earth, the mining ship Red Dwarf. It's crew: Dave Lister, the last human being alive; Arnold Rimmer, a hologram of his dead bunkmate and a creature who evolved from the ship's cat. Message ends.
Additional: Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes.
This is an SOS distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors were Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are a life form who evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000. The same IQ as 6000 PE teachers.
This is an SOS distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors were Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are a life form who evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.In the 3 million years we've been away, it is my fond hope that mankind has abolished war, cured all disease, and gotten rid of those little western saloon doors you get in trendy clothes shops.